The Future is Now

Hi all,

This is John. My first blog entry on here. Sorry for my lack of communication and my constant procrastination. I think I was just afraid to write this earlier because I was searching my heart for my motivation as to why I was writing this. I hate writing about how God is working in my life sometimes because when I write it, I think it can sometimes sound boastful and arrogant. I wonder if it comes across to others that I have it all together and that’s why God has been so good to me. That is so far from the truth. God is so good to me and you because He’s just that good. He loves us that much. And I shouldn’t be ashamed of that. But I struggle so much with self worth and accepting that the Creator loves His creation so much. And I constantly think about those who read it and are struggling with God and comparisons start being made as to why God seems to favor some more than others. But God showers his grace and love on all, especially the ones who are struggling. Again I think about how awesome God is, and how much He works through people who are so flawed and full of sin and I think, how can I not share this with my friends and family.

So for those of you interested in what our plan is for the near future, here it is: Read along.

Have you ever done something that, at the time, made no sense, but later worked out well? I think this may be one of those times for us...

One day Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret. He saw a boat along the shore and got into it. It was Simon Peter's boat.

Jesus said to Peter, "Let's go into deep water, toss the nets in and catch some fish."

Simon answered, "Master, we worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you said so I'll let down the nets."

They did and caught so much fish the nets began to break. They needed another boat to come help them. Both boats were so full of fish they began to sink. Peter and his companions were astonished.

Peter fell to his knees and said to Jesus, "Go away from me Lord. I am a sinful man."

Jesus said to Peter, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men."

So they pulled their boats to shore, left everything, and followed Him. - Luke 5:1-11

A few months ago I enrolled in the Korean Language Program at Seoul National University. After much thought, prayer, endorsements from former students of the program, and conversations with in-laws; my wife and I decided it would be best for me to go through the program for one year. It would only be a year and by the end of that year I would have a firm grasp of the Korean language and culture. Our vision for going through the program was to:

I) Help me better communicate with my in-laws and their extended families so we could get to know each other on a deeper level.

II) Use what I learn and pass it on to our children when we had them so they would know their background, language, and culture.

III) Allow me to make important decisions for my family rather than be told what to do because I don’t know the language or the way the system works.

IV) Use the language to connect with people and churches within Korea for raising support when we were to go to the mission field.

V) Be able to make a better income which would be much easier for an English speaking foreigner with an F-2 spousal visa and the ability to speak Korean. The job opportunities are endless and the advantages great for a person with that skill set. This would allow us to be able to pay off my student debts quickly after the one year program concluded.

Our vision and reasons for the Korean Language Program were well intentioned, well thought out, and probably the most reasonable course of action for us at the time.

Then about 2 weeks before I was to start the program, my wife and I decided to take a week and commit it to prayer. At this point our missions training would have to wait a year or two until after the Language program, but that was fine with us. Korea had become our safe home. And we felt that after a year or two in Korea, we’d be better prepared, better educated, and better suited for the mission field.

Halfway through that week of prayer we met a young married couple who had been through part of the Himalayas mission training (at our church). They were about to leave for India and Nepal for the short-term-on-the-field portion of the training. They began talking about Nepal and the fire in our hearts started burning again for Nepal and its people.

At the end of our week it was becoming quite evident that God didn’t want us to delay going to the mission field for two years. My wife recognized it before I did… or more accurately, I didn’t want to recognize it. I was starting University in less than a week, we were actively involved in church and the community, we were developing new friendships with people, we were connecting more with our family, and I was in Judo classes that I really loved. For the first time in my three years in Korea, I really felt like I was starting to connect with and embrace the Korean culture. I love this country and it feels like home for Soyon and me. I certainly didn’t want to give that up.

My wife is awesome! What I love the most about her is her big soft heart. She grew up as an MK (missionary kid) in Nigeria. She loved her time there, but still carries some deep hurts about her upbringing as an MK. If you’re an MK, I’m sure you can relate. Recently I’ve seen God do some amazing things in her life that show that she really is being healed of those past hurts. I think for the first time in her life, she’s feeling some consistency. She, like me, has come to love Korea and call it home. It’s safe and offers her stability, something I was afforded living in a small town for over 26 years, but something she has just come to find. For an MK that’s always been moving around, it’s a new and refreshing change not to up and move around so much. I think she would have been content to establish some roots here and settle down.

But at the end of that week of prayer, God really started speaking to her heart. She listened. She let go of the stability and safety that Korea offers us and suggested we radically change our life and our direction. No more delays to the calling God has for us. It’s time to start the missions training. I saw the change in her. She was teaching me a thing or two about obedience and faith and she didn’t even know it. She still struggles from time to time (like we all do), but she’s faithful and responsive to God. I love her for that!

So here I am with an itch to go back to school and improve my judo throws. I figured it was too late to turn back. I was enrolled in University, tuition was paid, in-laws were so proud of me for learning Korean, we’ve got a nice apartment, sweet car (KIA PRIDE!!!), and great life right here in Suji. Why would I want to give all that up? Why risk all that? It makes no sense.

And then I think about Peter in that passage in Luke. He says, “Master, I worked hard all night and caught nothing. But because you said so, I’ll put down the nets.”

Peter is a fisherman. Fishing is all he knows about. He fished that same spot all night with no success. It made no sense for him to throw the net back out there. But he did. And Jesus rewarded his obedience and faith. We believe He’s the same gracious God and will do the same for us if we just listen to what He’s telling us.

It made no sense, but we quit the Korean Language Program. It made no sense, but we probably offended our Korean family slightly. It made no sense, because I already quit my job a week prior to this…

But because You said so, we put down our nets.

God has since filled our boat!

I was able to quit the Language program with a 90% refund for tuition. I got my old job back and got another great job (2 jobs now) that I’ll work until the end of July, thus allowing us to pay off my school debt (finally after 10 plus years!) in less than two months and save a bit too. It looks like we’ll be able to start the 4 month training for the Himalayas as early as the end of August. Praise the Lord! And miraculously this all occurred in the span of our week of prayer.

We are excited to be starting this new journey and new adventure.

Like Peter and his companions we are astonished at the improbable things God worked in our lives in such a short time frame.

And like Peter, I think, “Go away from me Lord. I’m a sinful man.” I feel so unworthy of it all. I struggle with thoughts of not being adequate enough and strong enough to go to a place so foreign. I feel like I don’t measure up at so many things that the mission field will hold for us. Unskilled, uneducated, unready are we.

And yet the words of Jesus jump out and hit me right in the face. “Don’t be afraid.”

Peter was a fisherman. It’s all he knew. He wasn’t adequate to preach, skilled to teach, educated to witness, brave enough to stand for Christ, or strong enough to go where God called him to. He knew how to bait a hook, untangle a net, and gut a fish. But he pulled his boat to shore, left everything, and followed Him anyway.

We feel like Peter. We know a few things that we are familiar with. But if we leave everything that makes sense and follow Him anyway, God will fill our boats. Sometimes our boats may be full of water and we’ll feel like we’re drowning. Sometimes our boats may be full of the catch of men. Peter failed God miserably and he stood up for God triumphantly. I expect some of the same struggles and successes for Soyon and myself.

God’s plan seems to be constantly changing, refining, and morphing our lives into His perfect will as we seem to be dragging our feet, kicking and screaming, “No. Not yet. Wait for my time God.”

And Jesus says to not be afraid and just follow Him. We’re gonna try.

I read my blog entries from a year or two ago and the plans I had. I think about what’s happened over the past month. I keep thinking, “My, how things have changed.”

Please keep us in your prayers as we start this new phase of our lives we feel God has laid before us.